Why when we try to motivate people we don’t

Dan Pink makes a case for why extrinsic motivators don’t really work.  In an 18-minute video Pink, a “career strategist”, explains the social science behind why contingent motivators – if you do that, then you get this – only work for small band of problems and especially don’t work if the problem requires creativity.

Pink has an interesting back story – his last “real” job was as a speechwriter for Al Gore and as a law student he was bad such that “he graduated in the part of his law class that makes the upper 90% possible.”

Dilbert.com

A little gut has become okay, so sez NYT

Looks like fat is the new thin for guys.  The chiseled abs look is passé.   Blame it on the economy or having a super-president that stays thin, works out, shoots hoops and deals with world problems, making  it too hard for the rest of us to keep up.

Good news for me – I’m in style.

Read NYT.

What not to say during an argument

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Image by manfred-hartmann via Flickr

Relationships are never easy, right?  Every say things you regret during an argument? I’m a master of this kind of regret.

When I saw this list on Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project site and couldn’t resist republishing it.

Gretchen’s book about her attempt to try the teachings of the ages on how to be happy is now available for pre-order.  I’ll be looking forward to the book and will review it when available.

Here’s her list of what not to say during an argument

  • Don’t start.
  • What’s that supposed to mean?
  • Haven’t we already had this conversation?
  • Can’t we talk about this later?
  • Never mind (sigh), it’s not important.
  • You always do that.
  • For once, could you XXX without making a big deal about it?
  • Enough already.
  • Can’t we just go?
  • My personal favorite: Can I tell you one thing?

As for me, I think I’m going to stop running to Twitter and airing how I’ve been wronged and looking for support.

Advice from Film Makers Usable Anywhere

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Image via Wikipedia

Independent directors give advice to new film makers.   Since making a film is a mixture of creative and technique, it’s pretty much like any other endeavor.  This short video clip has a little advice for everyone.

Sam RaimiSpiderman, et al” – Just make a movie every week and you’re a film maker.  Similar good  advice as “writers write” and “just do it”.

Guillermo Del Toro, “Hell Boy”  - “Don’t back off”

Quentin Tarrantino, “Pulp FictionReservoir Dogs” –  Have the passion and just make the movie even if you throw it away.  Then Tarrantion comes off as a pompous dick by giving the advice as to how to make it today, just make Reservoir Dogs, (his first film) because it’s a kick-ass f—- movie!

Robert Rodriguez – “El Mariachi, Sin City, Spy Kids” – Probably my favorite — he suggest “do it in Spanish and subtitle it — they’ll think it’s an art film.”  Starting immediately, Enquiringmimes will be written in Russian with translations available.

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Planning Vacations via Social Networks: How I’d Plan Mine

I don’t think there is a vacation in our plans for this family of  Mimes this summer, at least not until the Fall – but if we were planning one this is what I’d do.  I’d go see a couple of my favorite friends, who I’ve never met, at least not in person.

Living my life working via the Web, why shouldn’t I have friends the same way?  I have met two folks via the vast Internet who are thousands of miles apart.  I’ve known both for many years and visiting either would make an ideal vacation.

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I met Jon Watson via a help desk request at my company, Virtual Bridges.  He was living in Calgary, Alberta at the time.  He’s a Linux techie, he’s written about our software products in the tech press, he’s a blogger – he once had a network of Linux blogs for which I wrote.  He and I keep in touch via Facebook, Linkedin and email. I once had a plan to hire him and move him to our offices in Austin but he had other ideas.  He and his wife, Kelly, wanted to move 5000 miles to Canada’s Atlantic provinces and start a Bed and Breakfast in Nova Scotia.  They did.

I could visit them at their Phoenix Hollow B&B in Windsor, Nova Scotia.

Phoenix Harbor, B&B. Windsor, NS

“Built circa 1873, the “Lion House” has undergone extensive renovations in order to offer the modern amenities of today while keeping the stately grace of yesteryear.

The Phoenix Hollow began life as a personal residence for ship owner and merchant Mark Curry and is now a Canada Select 4-star rated B&B.

The Hollow has also served its community well as both a boarding house and a refuge for the homeless after The Great Windsor fire of 1897.

Jon and Kelly are proud to be the 14th owners of this wonderful home and enjoy inviting people into our beautiful house.”  From phoenixhollow.com.

I think the whole family would enjoy that vacation, except maybe the dog.  Jon has pups of his own so doesn’t have facilities for visiting pups.

If I wanted more of an urban vacation I could visit another friend and engage in one of my favorite past times – eating.

I’m Dan Perlman, but it seems not the only Dan Perlman.  If you Google the name you would probably find me, but also several other “Dan Perlman”s.  One once contacted me because he kept a web page of “Dan Perlman”s and wanted to see if I had any interest in giving up the domain name danperlman.com for his Dan-Perlman collection.  I didn’t, but we kept in contact.  As Facebook became more popular we both connected on the site — constantly confusing our friends with wall posts from multiple “Dan Perlman”s.

Dan writes about food and wine and is Chef at his “closed door” restaurant Casa Salt Shaker in Buenos Aires.  While Jon is a mere 3000 miles from me in California, Dan is a bit further at about 6500 miles.

Having read Dan’s SaltShaker.net blog about food and about Casa Salt Shaker on its Facebook page and seen his food pictures on his Flickr pages, I know I could spend some very pleasant time exploring Buenos and enjoying eating and drinking wine at Dan’s restaurant.

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Here’s how they describe Casa SaltShaker, the closed door restaurant:

“Welcome to Casa SaltShaker. We offer a unique dining experience in Barrio Norte. In essence, you are being invited to a dinner party in our home, where you will be seated at one of our two communal tables, with other guests. The setting is casual, the food eclectic, the conversation lively – and generally in a mix of languages. We consider our food “fancy home cooking” – we’re not trying for a multi-star experience – it’s about good food and wine, and meeting new friends.” From casasaltshaker.com

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Here’s this weekend’s menu, celebrating Sunthorn Phu Day in Thailand,

  • Egg Net with Shrimp Salad
  • Tom Kha (peanut-tomato based soup)
  • Vegetable Pad Thai
  • Mussel Curry
  • Banana Springrolls in Coconut Caramel

Anyway, that’s how I would spend my vacation.

Off topic:  Since Dan and I keep in contact via Facebook, I recently had the mischievous pleasure of beating Dan to the Facebook “vanity” URL of our name and in doing so met another Dan Perlman who is studying for the Bar in Boston.

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